


Inside of You

by GeniaTheParadox



Category: Get Him to the Greek (2010), The Mighty Boosh (TV)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Eventual Smut, First Time, Fluff and Angst, Jealous Howard, M/M, Pining, Slow Burn, Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-01-26
Updated: 2015-02-26
Packaged: 2018-03-09 05:04:19
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 12,970
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3237344
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GeniaTheParadox/pseuds/GeniaTheParadox
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Vince is going out with Infant Sorrow front man and one of his favourite rock stars, Aldous Snow. </p><p>To say Howard is having a terrible time of it would be an understatement.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

Howard had just finished the stock taking when Vince bowled into the Nabootique like a whirlwind of sequins and joy. He had never seen his best friend look so happy, and that was saying something since ‘happy’ was pretty much Vince Noir’s default setting. The electro pounce was actually trembling, his usually pale face was flushed with emotion, and his smile was so wide it looked almost painful. He looked as if all his Christmases, birthdays, Halloweens and January sales had come at once. Howard was so taken aback he didn't even ask why Vince was late again.

“Oh my God, Howard, you will never fucking guess what’s just happened to me!”

“What?” Howard was feeling both bemused and slightly alarmed.

Vince let out a sudden burst of breathless giggles, before collapsing onto his usual chair by the window with a wistful sigh.

“I can’t believe it, Howard, it was like being in a movie! This has got to be the best day of my entire life, I swear!”

“D’you plan on letting me know what’s got you into such a state any time this year? I’ve got things to do, y’know,” said Howard, edging around the counter and stepping slowly towards his giggling best friend.

Vince ginned into the middle distance, twiddling his hair around his finger. “Oh, Howard, it was _amazing_. I was in Topshop, yeah? Just browsing the shoe section. I had my headphones on, I was in the zone, and I spotted these well cool black cowboy boots. But then this other bloke reached for them at the same time that I did, and I was all ready to have a go at him because I totally saw them first, right? But then I looked up and – oh my God, I nearly had a fucking heart attack – it was _Aldous Snow!”_

Howard stared blankly. That seemed like a bit of an anticlimax. Vince’s storytelling skills could definitely use some work. “Am I supposed to know who that is?”

“For God’s sake, Howard, you know who he is!” said Vince, rolling his eyes. “Aldous Snow, lead singer of Infant Sorrow, one of the best bands ever! We watched that special they did on The Pie Face Showcase about him the other night!”

It all came back to Howard rather abruptly. He’d been looking forward to watching a documentary about the history of stationery when Vince had stolen the remote and declared that they were watching some brainless tabloid nonsense about some rock band he’d never heard of instead.

“Oh, you mean the one who looks like a scarecrow?” said Howard, still not particularly impressed. “So you got to meet some pop star today, so what? That doesn’t explain why you look so bloody delirious. It’s not like you bumped into Mick Jagger, is it?”

Vince let out an exasperated huff, rolling his eyes again. “You don’t understand, Aldous Snow is a _genius_ , a modern day Rock God! And in real life... oh wow, he is so cool and charming and... _and gorgeous.”_

_“Gorgeous?”_ Howard scoffed. He didn't like where this was going, and the dreamy look on Vince’s face only confirmed things.

“It wasn’t just you average, everyday, ‘bumping into a random celebrity’ type situation, Howard. We got to talking and, well...” Vince giggled again, blushing bright pink. “We’re going out tonight!”

Howard frowned. “Going out?”

“Aldous is taking me to dinner as this well swanky vegan place in town. There’s probably gonna be all sorts of other celebs there, and paparazzi, so I’ve got one hell of an outfit to plan. Aldous bought them genius cowboy boots for me though, so I’ll probably wear them so he knows how grateful I am. Honestly, he is _so sweet!_ I didn't even know he played for both teams, but he said he wanted to keep it on the down low so the tabloids wouldn’t give him grief. But now he says he doesn’t care anymore, and anyways I was way too hot to pass up the chance to ask out. Can you believe it, Aldous Snow thinks _I’m_ hot! Imagine that!”

Vince prattled away excitedly, but Howard had stopped listening. He had never seen Vince like this before. He had been on lots of dates, of course, and had plenty of girlfriends and a fair few boyfriends too, but this was different. Vince was so... _besotted_. Like a school kid was a crush. Maybe it was just his natural pessimism, but Howard didn't see this ending well.

Once the working day was done and the shop was closed, Vince rushed up to the flat and spent the next few hours dashing between his bedroom and the bathroom, getting ready like a man possessed. Howard sat on the sofa with a cup of tea, unsure why he felt so gloomy about the whole situation. He should have been happy that Vince was so happy, but he just couldn’t shake the desire to try and get Vince to stay home tonight. They could sit in front of the telly like normal, eat some pancakes, maybe do a jigsaw puzzle. But Howard knew there was no point in even trying. Vince had a date with a rock star, and nothing on Earth would get him to stay home instead.

Vince finally emerged from his bedroom in his meticulously chosen outfit – a leopard print fur coat, an artfully torn Guns & Roses t-shirt, red skinny jeans and the black cowboy boots he’d been gushing about all day. His hair was an impressive, backcombed, inky black lion’s mane, his eyes were neatly lined with black kohl and silvery eyeshadow, and his lips shimmered with faintly glittery lipgloss. Howard watched Vince preening in the mirror above the mantel, and felt his insides swoop and flutter uncomfortably, and not for the first time. It happened a lot more than he cared to admit. He wasn’t overly fond of the Swoop and Flutter.

Vince looked at his phone and suddenly gasped. “Holy shit, his car’s outside! I’ll see you later, Howard, wish me luck!”

Vince didn't come home that night, and Howard couldn’t sleep. _It’s just because I’m worried about him,_ he thought to himself as he stared at the ceiling, trying not to think about the empty bedroom next to his. _He’s my friend, my best friend. I just don’t want him to get hurt, that’s all... yeah right, keep telling yourself that, Moon._

Vince floated back into the flat the next day, well after the Nabootique had been shut. Howard was about to start cooking a little something for diner when he heard the familiar clip-clopping of Vince’s boots on the stairs.

“Alright, Howard.”

Vince’s voice had a contented softness to it as he slipped off his fur coat and threw himself down onto the sofa, the most blissful smile on his face.

“So how was your date?” Howard asked, cringing at the forced cheeriness in his own voice.

Vince sighed, sprawling across the entire length of the sofa with his hands behind his head. “ _Amazing_.”

Howard shoved Vince’s feet out of the way so he could sit down, noticing against his will the very obvious bite marks on Vince’s neck.

“I know it’s only been one night,” Vince continued with a sigh. “But I think I might be in love. Me and Aldous just _clicked_ , y’know? It was an instant connection. We were talking in that restaurant until closing time. I mean, all that vegan food was well minging, but I was way too nervous to eat anyway. I was so worried that he’d think of me as just another fan, just another Sorrow Sucker tryna get in his pants, but it wasn’t like that at all. Although I did have to pretend like I didn't already knew everything about him from all them interviews he’s done in NME, but it didn't even matter in the end because I saw the _real_ him, y’know? Not just the version of him you see in his videos. And he’s so into me as well, I can’t believe it!”

“So I’m guessing you stayed as his last night then?” said Howard when he was finally able to get a word in edgeways.

“It was so cool,” Vince sighed. “His flat is well nice, right by the Southbank. I was planning on taking things slow and everything, but he was just so hard to resist. All them rumours are true, he really is fucking incredible in bed.”

Howard didn't want to listen to all of this, but Vince had stretched his legs out across Howard’s lap and didn't look like he planned to stop talking any time soon.

“It was a spiritual experience, Howard. Calling Aldous a Sex God wouldn’t even be an exaggeration. It was _indescribable_. I’m pretty sure I blacked out at one point, it was so intense. And it weren’t even a one night stand either, he wasn’t having any of it. If he had his way, I’d probably still be in bed with him, he just didn't want me to leave! But I couldn’t stay there with only one outfit to hand, no way.”

Vince continued to go on and on about the rock star as Howard’s head pounded with the effort of trying to remain pleasantly interested, rather than murderously jealous. It was a petty and childish kind of jealousy, the kind that wanted to yell _I was here first! That so-called musician doesn’t deserve you, Vince! What’s he got that I haven’t? If that Aldous idiot dares show his face I’ll show him what for, yes sir! I’d take him out to dinner with Mr. and Mrs. Pain, no mistake!_

Howard didn't say any of that out loud, of course. He just sat quietly until Vince got up to take a shower and change out of his crumbled date clothes, the jealousy burning him up inside.

For the rest of that week Vince was barely in the flat, and hardly ever showed up to the shop – annoyingly for Howard, Naboo didn't seem to mind whether Vince was there or not, just as long as Howard picked up the slack. Vince only popped in occasionally, fresh love bites on his neck and a permanent grin on his face. He’d take a shower, change his clothes, do his hair, and recount everything he and Aldous had been up to at lightning speed – sometimes with accompanying paparazzi photos clipped out of gossip magazines – before rushing back out of the flat and into the waiting car outside.

Howard hadn’t slept much. Every night he tapped three times on the wall beside his bed, and every night there was no response. It was a little ritual that Vince had started after they had first moved into the flat. They had spent years at the zoo sleeping just inches away from each other on the floor of the keeper’s hut, and Vince was yet to get used to sleeping alone in his very own room. So he tapped three times on the wall each night, and Howard tapped back. Just to reassure his best friend that he was still there on the other side of the wall, that Vince wasn’t all alone.

But now Howard was the one all alone.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Howard finally meets Aldous Snow, and the jealousy gets even more painful.

A fortnight had passed – probably the most lonely and miserable two weeks of Howard Moon’s life, and that was saying something – when Vince skipped into the Nabootique with an invitation.

“You’ve gotta come to the Velvet Onion tonight, Howard! I convinced Aldous to do an exclusive gig, just a couple of songs with him and the rest of the band, and people are going _mental_. Bob Fossil’s over the moon, the club is raking it in, tickets are selling like hot cakes. But I managed to get _you_ on the guest list, you can even come backstage after and finally meet Aldous!”

“I don’t know,” Howard said slowly, trying to think of a way to get out of this. “I was gonna go visit Lester tonight, maybe have a listen to that Coltrane LP he just got his hands on...”

Vince scoffed, shoving the flyer into Howard’s hand. “No way, you’re coming tonight! It’s gonna be genius!”

There was no arguing, Howard knew. He really couldn’t think of anything worse than going to the Velvet Onion that night. But the thought of Vince’s disappointment was the only thing that made him put on his best corduroy and Hawaiian shirt combo and go, dragging his feet the whole way. When he finally got to the club the queue to get in was the longest he’d ever seen, the line of eager young people wearing Infant Sorrow t-shirts seemed almost never ending, and Howard was panicking even more. What if he couldn’t even get in? What if his name wasn’t really on the guest list? What if it was all some horrible joke and he was about to get his head kicked in by the frankly terrifying bouncer?

Just as he was contemplating turning around and doing a runner, Vince appeared at the door wearing one of his best Joan Jett jumpsuits – there was the Swoop and Flutter again – and beckoned Howard inside with a grin.

“Brilliant, Howard! I was worried you wouldn’t come,” he said happily, before turning to the enormous bouncer. “It’s alright, Trevor, he’s on the list.”

Howard had never seen the Velvet Onion so packed. Vince led him right to the front, as close to the stage as they could get through the throng of people, managing to make his voice heard over the noise of the excited crowd.

“You got here just in time, Howard, they’re about to start. Aldous said he's dedicating the first song to me, imagine that! He won’t tell me which song though, says he wants it to be a bit of a surprise. He’s so _sweet!”_

The lights went down and the noise doubled as the band walked on stage, shortly followed by Aldous Snow himself. The cheers grew into a full blown roar, and Howard’s insides turned cold. Aldous Snow really did look like a scarecrow, but – and Howard would rather wax his own moustache off than admit it out loud – a very handsome scarecrow. He was tall and lean with long, curly brown hair and dark, intense eyes. He wore incredibly tight black jeans, and many vaguely spiritual looking tattoos were visible on his chest thanks to the tight shirt he wore, unbuttoned almost down to his naval. He was also wearing lots of chains around his neck, as well as beaded bracelets and a few silver rings on his fingers that glinted in the lights as he waved to the audience. Howard really, really hated to say it, even in his own internal monologue, but he could sort of see why Vince was so infatuated with this man. He was sort of... _beautiful_.

“Thanks for comin’, you lot,” Aldous finally said into the microphone once the cheering and screaming died down. He had a heavy Cockney accent, but an eloquence and demeanour that suggested intelligence. “We’re Infant Sorrow, and this first song is dedicated to someone very special. He’s the one who made this whole little show possible, and his name is Vince Noir. Look at him right at the front, what a diamond! Ain’t he gorgeous? Ain’t I a lucky man to have that hanging off me arm?”

Vince was blushing as the crowd clapped and cheered, but he was clearly enjoying the attention all the same.

“This one’s for you, darlin’...”

The band started playing a slow, dreamy love song that had the whole audience cheering again, but when Aldous started singing Howard frowned.

_“Old as ancient skies_

_I’ve had these wondering eyes_

_But you took me by surprise when you let me inside of you_

_Inside of you_

_Inside of you_

_There’s got to be some part of me inside of you...”_

Howard couldn’t believe what he was hearing. He looked around at the crowd swaying and singing along, and at Vince looking up at the stage in awe, as if it was the most beautiful ballad ever written, and felt like banging his head against a wall. Was he really the only person who could hear this song for what it was?

_“Inside of you, I could cross this desert plain_

_Inside of you, I can hear you scream my name_

_Inside of you, all the stars unfold_

_I’ve cross me heart, and I’ve crossed the world_

_And I need you here and I need to be_

_Inside of you...”_

Howard’s face was starting to hurt from frowning is disgust so hard. Aldous punctuated every word of his so-called love song with a frankly obscene hip thrust, but still Howard seemed to be the only person to grasp what this song was about. For God’s sake, the innuendo wasn’t even _subtle_. This was a song that was obviously about sex, disguised as a song about love. And it was dedicated to Vince. And Vince was completely falling for it.

As the song finally came to an end and everyone applauded, Howard slipped off to the back of the club so he could have a sit down. Vince didn't even notice. He was too busy clapping and dancing along to a song called ‘The Clap’, which was also full of filthy lyrics that made Howard cringe. Howard had never really paid attention to an Infant Sorrow song before. When Vince played their albums around the flat he just tuned it out, but actually listening now Howard realised that almost every song Aldous Snow sang at this gig was about sex. He didn’t want to sound like some fusty old grandparent, but Howard thought it was horribly inappropriate and only made him worry about Vince even more.

The band closed the show with a song called ‘Yeah Yeah, Oi Oi’, that was all about peace, love and unity (but was really just Aldous patting himself on the back for all the sex he’d had and how cool he thought he was). Vince found Howard at his little table at the back once the band went off stage and dragged him off, a tight grip on his forearm as he weaved through the crowd until they reached the backstage area.

Howard would have given anything not to be there. He really wished he didn't have to be there...

“Aldous! Brilliant show, babe!” said Vince as they reached the front man’s dressing room. “Everyone’s gonna be talking about it for years, and Fossil’s probably gonna be able to retire from the amount of money the club made tonight!”

“Cheers, darlin’.”

Aldous had been lounging on a sofa until he saw Vince. He stood up with much more grace than his long, lanky body suggested and gathered Vince into his arms, kissing him full on the mouth with a moan while one hand grabbed Vince’s arse. Howard wished the ground would just swallow him up.

“How’d you like your song, gorgeous?” Aldous asked once they finally stopped kissing.

“I loved it,” Vince said, as Aldous continued to hold him close and nuzzle his neck. “It was well romantic.”

 _It bloody wasn’t,_ Howard thought resentfully.

“Well, I meant every word, sweetheart,” said Aldous, before pulling Vince into yet other kiss.

This was torture, actual torture. Howard would’ve rather scooped his own eyeballs out with a dessert spoon than stood there and watched Vince – _his_ Vince – being snogged and groped by this mediocre rock star. The jealousy was bubbling away inside him like hot oil, like boiling acid. If he wasn’t such a Man of Action, he probably would have burst into tears. Instead he just awkwardly cleared his throat, reminding Vince that he was in fact still in the room.

“Oh right,” said Vince, tearing himself away from his boyfriend. “Aldous, this is my best friend, Howard Moon. I was telling you all about him, remember?”

“Ohh, yeah,” Aldous said slowly, finally looking at Howard with a smirk. “Alright, mate.”

“Hi,” said Howard stiffly.

“So you’re _really_ Vince’s best friend?” Aldous asked incredulously.

Howard bristled. “Yes, for well over ten years now. Why?”

“Oh, meaning no disrespect, mate,” Aldous chuckled, one arm still curled around Vince’s waist. “It’s just that lookin’ at you, I wouldn’t say you were Vince’s friend. More his... _Dad_.”

“Vince and I actually the same age, so...”

“If you say so, pal. All I’m saying is you’ve got a touch of the middle aged geography teacher about you, that’s all.”

Howard rolled his eyes as Aldous went to drape himself back on the sofa, bringing Vince with him so the smaller man was practically on his lap. Howard did not like this man, _at all_.

But Vince looked so happy, like there was nowhere else he’d rather be than here with Aldous Snow. _Aldous bloody Snow, Howard thought bitterly. With his hair and his designer stubble and his stupid tattoos and songs full of filthy lyrics, what an arsehole. Aldous bloody Snow, with his arm around_ my _Vince, my beautiful Vince who deserves someone so much better than this self-obsessed sex pest. Aldous Snow, why don’t you just sod off? Sod right off and let me have Vince all to myself again, you prize berk._

“I should go,” Howard finally said out loud.

“Why?” said Vince, looking genuinely upset which threw Howard slightly. “You only just got here, and I feel like I’ve hardly seen you at all lately. I thought the three of us could hang out.”

“No, I really should get going,” said Howard, trying not to look at this disappointment on Vince’s face. “I really should pay Lester a visit, you know he gets a bit weird when he’s alone for too long. And I need to rearrange Stationery Village. But I’ll see you at home though, yeah?”

“Actually,” said Vince, not sounding quite as happy as before. “I was gonna stay with Aldous tonight.”

Howard’s stomach twisted and squirmed as he edged out of the room. “Oh, of course, no problem. See you later then, Vince.”

He left as quickly as he could, not saying a word to Aldous and trying not to think about the look on Vince’s face. Once Howard finally got back to the flat he shut himself away in his bedroom, trying not to cry. Tonight really had been hellish, and the worst part was that Vince so obviously _missed him_. Howard could see it in Vince’s eyes, hear it in his voice. Vince had been trying to get them to all spend time together, he wanted Howard and Aldous to get along. But that wasn’t going to happen any time soon, no sir.

Howard just couldn’t bear to see Vince with Aldous Snow.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I will finish this fic at some point, I promise. It may take a while because I'm such a slow writer and my laptop is about 100 years old, but it will be done.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Vince and Aldous spend the night, and Howard wishes he was deaf.

A few nights after the unpleasantness at the Velvet Onion, Howard was laying wide awake in bed, calculating exactly how many hours of sleep he could get before his alarm went off if he fell asleep right that second, when he suddenly heard the distinct sound of cowboy boots coming up the stairs. For a moment Howard’s heart leapt – _Vince was back! Vince had actually come home!_ – but that moment of joy lasted all of about two seconds. Because the oh so familiar sound of Vince’s clip-clopping boots on the stairs was soon followed by another set of footsteps, along with muffled talking and quiet laughter. Howard really hoped his sleep deprived mind was just playing tricks on him, but as the pair of footsteps got closer to his door he could make out what the whispered voices were saying, and his stomach clenched painfully.

“...Dunno why we couldn’t just go back to yours like normal.”

“What? I only wanted to mix things up a bit, y’know, see where you live for a change.”

“Keep your voice down, Aldous! I don’t wanna wake anyone up!”

“Yeah, yeah, which one of these rooms is yours? I gotta get you in bed, sexy. We’ll see how quiet you can be then, eh?”

Vince giggled quietly, there was something that sounded like kissing, and then Vince’s bedroom door was opened and closed. Howard couldn’t hear any actual words after that, just hushed voices, creaking bedsprings and eventually the banging of a headboard against a wall. It didn't take a genius to guess what was happening.

Howard might not have had any personal experience in such things, but he wasn’t stupid. He did however wish that he was deaf, or at least had a less vivid imagination. He covered his head with his pillow, trying to block his ears, trying to think about anything other than what was happening in the next room. But it was useless.

It didn't take much for him to picture Vince naked, and it certainly hadn’t been the first time that Howard had done so. Vince really didn't have any shame and after all, that had been living in very close quarters together for years. Howard never allowed himself to stare when Vince strolled out of the bathroom in just a towel, but his quick glances were enough to paint quite a detailed picture in his mind – pale skin smattered with dark hair, surprisingly toned arms, narrow waist and shapely hips – but now the image was tainted with the thought of _Aldous bloody Snow_.

The squeaking bed springs and banging headboard and muffled moaning got louder and faster, and Howard squeezed his eyes shut. He felt nauseous and a little bit tearful. But, worst of all, he actually felt just the tiniest bit... _aroused_. He had never hated his own body more for reacting in such a way, and outright refused to do anything about the unfortunate state he’d found himself in. Instead he curled up on his side with his back to the wall, pillow over his head and the duvet pulled over him too, scatting loudly in his head to drown out the noise from the next room.

When it was finally over – it might have been going on for minutes, hours, maybe even days, he didn't have a clue anymore – Howard stopped trying to smother himself with his pillow and once again attempted to get some sleep.

_Tap tap tap_

He was just starting to finally doze off when the knocking on the wall startled him. Three knocks. Vince’s nightly ritual to make sure Howard was still there. It felt like years since Howard had last heard those three little knocks. He wasn’t sure if he should respond though. Surely it would mean that Vince would know that not only was Howard still awake, but had heard everything from earlier. But Howard just couldn’t bear to leave his best friend hanging, so he knocked right back – _tap tap tap_.

Howard thought for a long time before finally dozing off again, about Vince. Vince hadn’t wanted to come back here tonight, Howard had heard him say as much. But he had tapped on the wall all the same, probably waiting until Aldous had fallen asleep to do so. The three knocks were for when Vince was feeling lonely, unable to get to sleep all by himself in his room. But he wasn’t by himself, far from it. Howard couldn’t get his head around it.

Howard woke up feeling groggy and miserable the next morning. He dragged himself out of bed, the memories of the night before making his head pound. He was just making himself a cup of very strong tea when Vince appeared out of his room, in the old pyjama bottoms and t-shirt he usually slept in, his hair sticking up in all directions and yesterday’s eyeliner smudged under his sleepy eyes. Howard couldn’t help but smile at the truly adorable vision that his best friend made. It had been far too long since he’d seen Vince looking anything less than perfectly done up, and the sight was refreshing. There were very few people Vince was willing to look a mess in front of – and there was the Swoop and Flutter again.

“Alright, Howard.”

“Morning, little man.”

Howard automatically started making a second cup of much weaker and sweeter tea, noting the blush that had crept across Vince’s cheeks.

“Listen, Howard,” he began, anxiously playing with his hair. “I’m sorry about last night. Usually we would’ve stayed at Aldous’ place but... well, I hope we didn't wake you or Naboo and Bollo up.”

“Actually Naboo and Bollo are off on a paintballing trip with the Shaman Council,” said Howard. “But don’t worry yourself, Vince. It was fine.”

“Really?”

Howard avoided Vince’s eyes as he handed over the cup of tea. “Really, little man. It’s all fine.”

Vince didn't look entirely convinced, but didn't say anything. They sat at the kitchen table together, quietly drinking their tea, and as they did Howard was very aware that Vince was staring at him.

“Something wrong?”

“No, no,” Vince said quickly. “It’s just... I sorta missed this, just having a cuppa with you. It’s been a while.”

Howard smiled sadly. “Yeah, it has.”

“Aldous doesn’t drink tea,” Vince said quietly. “Not normal tea anyway, just that well rank herbal stuff with no caffeine in it. He's proper healthy now that he ain’t a drug addict anymore.”

Howard tried his best not to look alarmed that Vince’s boyfriend was a former drug addict, but his headache felt a bit more painful than before. _Keep it together, Moon..._

“He doesn’t eat meat either,” Vince continued. “I haven’t had a bacon sandwich in forever. And he’d been trying to get me into yoga, but it’s just so _boring_. He made me meditate with him the other day and he told me to breathe deeply and empty my mind, but then in the silence my mind started to wonder and I ended up thinking about what it would be like to have Weetabix for hands and it made me laugh. Aldous was _not_ happy, said I wasn’t taking it seriously and he had to go for a run to clear his head, it was well strange. And another thing, he takes _ages_ to get ready, even longer than I do! He doesn’t even wear as much make up as me, or use as many hair products, and most of his outfits look exactly the same so I dunno why he always has to take hours and hours to get ready whenever we go anywhere. And then when we do go out he doesn’t let me drink. I mean, I get that he’s clean and sober and everything, but he won’t even let me have one Flirtini in front of him, as if watching me have one little champagne cocktail is gonna make him fall off the wagon after seven sodding years clean. I mean, what the fuck?”

Howard could tell Vince had been just dying to say all of this for ages. He tried to hide his smile as he sipped his tea, letting Vince get it all out of his system.

“He’s always going on about philosophy and religion and politics and that, and it can be so dull. I swear, it makes all your lectures about trumpets and elbow patches seem interesting. And he uses loads of big words as well, and he never even explains what they mean when I ask, so I just end up feeling dead stupid because I don’t know what he’s on about. Oh yeah, and we’ve already bumped into _three_ of his exes since we started going out, and he doesn’t even mind. He was well casual about it, even though two of them ex-girlfriends totally hated his guts and tried to warn me that he was bad news, but Aldous just said not to listen to them because they were just bitter about being dumped. And he said some proper horrible stuff about them exes. He said was horrible things about you and all, Howard. When you left the Velvet Onion the other night he kept going on about how you looked like some sad Geography teacher, and your eyes were really small like a shrimp’s eyes, and your moustache was rubbish, and _what kinda tosser wears socks and sandals to a night club?_ I kept telling him to leave it out, because that sorta thing’s only okay when I say it.  _I’m_ your best friend, I’m allowed to take the piss outta your lack of fashion sense and your shrimp eyes because I’ve been your best friend for years, I’ve earned the right. But he kept on having a go and laughing at you, and then he had the nerve to get all huffy with me when I wouldn’t let him shag me in his dressing room because I wasn’t in the mood. I mean, Aldous can be really sweet and he’s definitely a Rock God and a genius on stage and really excellent in bed, but... ugh, he is such an _arsehole_.” 

Howard couldn’t hide his smile any longer. “Feel better?”

“A bit, yeah,” said Vince, looking surprised at himself but also a lot more relaxed.

“It’s a relief to hear you say all of that actually,” Howard admitted. “I’m not gonna lie; I am not Aldous Snow’s biggest fan. It’s nice to hear that he’s not so perfect.”

Vince chuckled a little bit as he finished his tea. “He’s really not. Dating a celebrity ain’t all it’s cracked up to be. At least with you I was always the centre of attention. I barely get a second look when I’m standing next to him. I’ve really missed you, Howard.”

“Why, because I don’t pull focus?” Howard scoffed fondly.

“Kinda,” Vince said with a shrug.

They looked at each other for a second, before they both burst out laughing. It was the happiest Howard had felt in such a long time, but just then Aldous strolled out of Vince’s bedroom in just a pair of black jeans, looking between them suspiciously as he scratched his bare stomach.

“Morning, Aldous!” Vince said happily, as if he hadn’t just been badmouthing him earlier.

“Alright, love,” said Aldous. “You got any gluten-free bread here?”

“No, just normal bread,” said Vince. “And normal tea. And Coco Pops.”

Aldous frowned. “We’ll go out and get a proper breakfast later then, darlin’. I’m gonna meditate for a while, you lot try and keep the noise down, yeah?”

He went back to Vince’s bedroom after planting a quick kiss on the top of his boyfriend's head, leaving Howard and Vince stifling laughter behind their hands. Howard started making them something to eat, smiling to himself as he did. It was weird, he never thought he’d be so happy with Aldous Snow in his home, especially after all the things he’d heard last night. But he really was. Because Aldous Snow wasn’t perfect, his rock star spell was finally starting to wear off and Vince was finally seeing him for the absolute prat he was.

_I might just finally get my Vince back._


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bye bye, Aldous Snow...

Vince’s visits to the Nabootique were a lot more frequent after that. He would stop by almost every day, a car with blacked out windows waiting for him outside the shop as he and Howard talked. Howard told Vince about the goings on in the shop; how Naboo and Bollo had returned from their paintballing trip only to leave again shortly after for Kirk’s mental week-long stag do, and how he had become a much better salesman in their absence now that he was completely in charge of the shop. And Vince vented about all the annoying and ridiculous things that Aldous had done, beaming as he made Howard laugh.

But Vince’s increased visits only made Howard feel lonelier when Vince inevitably had to leave, disappearing into that ominous car with the blacked out windows. It was bittersweet, but Howard was reaching a point where, when it came to Vince, he would take whatever he could get.

On one particular visit they had even managed to burst into an impromptu crimp, startling them both as it had been so very long since they had done something so intimate, so... _them_. They had beamed at it other, and just before Vince left the shop he suddenly pulled Howard into a very tight hug. In spite of his surprise, Howard managed to avoid saying the usual “Don’t touch me!” and actually hugged Vince back. His reluctance to be touched by Vince wasn’t out of disgust, as he could only assume Vince thought. It was just his slightly rubbish form of self-preservation. He didn't want Vince to touch him because that little bit of physical contact, however brief and however innocent, would break his heart and leave him desperate for more, for things that he was positive Vince didn't want.

But that day he let Vince hug him, and he hugged back, hoping that Vince couldn’t feel his heart racing under his shirt. The hug went on for a surprisingly long time, and when Vince pulled away from the embrace he smiled warmly and said “I’ve really missed you, Howard.”

Howard’s chest hurt as he thought about it, walking home from the supermarket the following evening. Vince’s hug had been so tight it felt like he could still feel the warmth of the smaller man’s body against his own. And it had almost been like old times, the way they had laughed and joked and crimped together... almost like how they had been before _Aldous bloody Snow_ came along and ruined things. Howard’s friendship with Vince would probably never be quite the same again, but as he walked up to the flat with his bags of shopping he really had no idea just how right he was.

“Vince?”

Howard left his shopping bags on the floor and walked slowly towards the sofa. Curled up on one end was Vince, wearing a black caftan, red leggings and mismatched socks. His knee high silver boots had been thrown carelessly on the floor, and his feet were drawn up onto the sofa cushion, his arms wrapped around his legs as he hugged his knees. His hair was sticking up on one side, as if he’d been anxiously playing with that one handful of hair for quite a while, and under closer inspection Howard noticed the tear tracks down his pale cheeks, the running mascara staining his skin. He looked so small and so sad, and it made Howard’s heart ache.

“Vince,” he said softly. “What are you doing here? What happened?”

Vince looked up slowly, his eyes red and puffy from crying, and quietly said “Aldous chucked me.”

“Oh.” He was feeling about twenty different emotions at once, but he tried to focus on looking sympathetic as he slipped off his coat and sat down on the other end of the sofa. “I’m so sorry.”

Vince snorted, narrowing his eyes. “As if. You hated his guts.”

“Well now, ‘hate’ is a bit of a strong word,” Howard said quickly. “I didn’t really like him, but...”

“You hated him,” Vince interrupted. “It’s alright, Howard. I fucking hate him too.”

Vince planted his feet back on the floor, his hands balling into fists at his sides and a very sudden look on anger darkening his face.

“You were totally right to hate him, Howard,” he said bitterly. “He was an absolute bastard. All the signs were there, but I was too thick to see it. I’m so _stupid_.”

Howard flinched to hear Vince speak so harshly about himself. He was almost afraid to ask... “What did he do?”

Vince seethed, glaring down at the floor. “We’d just go back from a shopping trip, yeah? He bought me this well nice leather jacket, and then we went back to his place. Everything was totally normal. And then, completely outta the blue, he just tells me we’re over. Said we’d had some fun but we both knew what this was, and anyway, he was flying back to LA tomorrow morning and it wasn’t like he could take me with him so... yeah. I asked him what the fuck he was on about, because I thought we had something _special_ , I thought I actually _meant something_ to him. And that’s when he told me – _the absolute prick_ – that he was cheating on me. With two different people! Some guy in Kentish Town and some posh bird in Paddington, and apparently they both knew they were being three-timed by him and they didn't even mind, so Aldous just assumed that I wouldn’t mind either! But he didn't even fucking tell me, he made me think that I was his boyfriend, the only one he was with! Instead of telling me he just _lied_ , he went behind my back, and then when it was all out in the open he was actually _surprised_ that I was so upset! How fucked up is that? All them times he was all sweet and romantic with me – going on about how gorgeous I was, and how lucky he was to have me, and taking me out, and buying me gifts – it was all total bullshit! He started spouting all this bollocks about how he didn’t _believe_ in only shagging one person at a time, how it was _against his philosophy_ and all that shit, the pretentious wanker!”

Vince banged his fists against the sofa, making Howard jump, before roughly wiping away the fresh tears that were welling in his raw, red eyes.

“Aldous actually started having a go at _me_ , like _I_ was the one in the wrong. Kept on saying that I was overreacting and that he thought I was way more cool and chilled out about things than this. I mean, what did he think was gonna happen? What did he think I was gonna do after finding out my boyfriend’s been cheating on me the whole time we’ve been together? I don’t understand what the fuck he was expecting, the clueless dickhead! I asked him why the hell he would think I’d be okay with him cheating on me and he said...”

Vince trailed off, glancing at Howard before awkwardly looking away. His face, already flushed with anger, had gone even redder.

“What?” Howard asked cautiously. “What did he say?”

Vince bit his lip nervously before he finally spoke, sounding slightly less furious. “He said... he said he thought I wouldn’t mind him seeing other people because... because he was so sure that me and you were a couple.”

Howard didn't have a clue what to say to that, but he could feel his face burning.

“He said he saw the way we were together,” Vince continued, tugging at that same handful of hair. “Said that I was always going on about you, and he noticed the way that you looked at me, and how we hugged yesterday and all that. He thought me and you were together, and that’s why he didn't feel guilty about cheating on me, and why he didn't think that I would care. Because he thought I was cheating on you. I couldn’t believe what I was hearing, all them assumptions he’d been making about me just to excuse all his _lying and cheating_. I told him you and me are just mates, and that we’ve been best friends for years and him just assuming stuff about my life was a pretty rubbish excuse to cheat on me and treat me like shit. And he had the fucking nerve to say that he was _relieved_ that you and me weren’t actually together because apparently I can do _miles_ better than a freak like you and then... I punched him.”

“You what?” Howard had definitely not been expecting that. “You punched him?”

Vince nodded, a small smile on his face as he showed Howard the slightly bruised knuckled on his right hand. “I punched him right in the face, took him off his feet and everything. After all the lies and bullshit, seeing him laughing at you again was just the finally straw, I guess. He had to get twatted.”

“You punched him... because of _me?”_

“Yeah. Gave him a terrific black eye, he was furious. He’s got telly interviews and a photo shoot to do when he gets to LA, and it’s gonna take a hell of a lot of makeup to cover up the state I left his face in. He should be thanking his lucky stars I didn't break his nose. Lucky for him I’ve got really good aim.”

“But... why?”

Vince looked at Howard with his eyebrows furrowed, baffled that he would even have to explain himself any further. “I couldn’t let him get away with talking about you like that, could I? You’re a weird jazzy freak, Howard, but you’re _my_ freak. And I’m the only one who is allowed to call you that.”

Howard smiled, resting his hand on Vince’s shoulder and suddenly overwhelmed with gratitude. “Thanks, little man. Thanks for defending my honour.”

Vince smiled, shuffling closer to Howard, and wrapped his arms around his best friend’s shoulders to pull him into a hug. Howard could feel his heart race and his hands tremble at the contact, but he held Vince just as close all the same. He gently stroked the messy black hair, and felt Vince sigh against him.

“I missed you,” Vince whispered. “And not just because you don’t pull focus.”

Howard chuckled, giving Vince a squeeze. “I missed you too, little man. It’s not been the same around here without you.”

“I can’t believe I was so _stupid_ ,” Vince said sadly, burying his face in Howard’s neck. “I can’t believe I fell for all his bullshit. I thought I was so special, so important to him, but it was all a lie. I didn't mean anything to him, and why would I? I’m a fucking idiot.”

“No,” said Howard, pulling away from their hug so he could look determinedly into Vince’s watery eyes. “No, you’re not an idiot. _He’s_ the stupid one, for not appreciating what he had. He has no idea how lucky he was to have you, and he didn't deserve you in the slightest. He only thought of you in terms of the superficial, treating you like some trophy boyfriend that he could show off. He didn't appreciate all that you have inside.”

Vince frowned. “But I don’t have anything inside. I’m like a beach ball.”

“You’ve got loads inside, Vince!” Howard insisted, desperate to make him understand. “You’re kind, and sweet, and optimistic. You’re clever in your own way, and so creative, and the way you see the world is so... _magical_. Inside of you is pure sunshine, Vince. And Aldous bloody Snow was an absolute moron for not seeing it, that’s why he didn't deserve you. Because he never, ever saw how truly beautiful you are.”

Vince stared, his eyes big and round with shock, and his mouth slightly open as he struggled find the words to respond. Inside, Howard was kicking himself. He had never meant to reveal that much. He had only wanted to make Vince feel better, to stop Vince from beating himself up about the terrible way he’d been treated. _But instead you said all that! Honestly, Moon, you practically told him! And you called him beautiful! You’ve probably scared him off now with all your damn sentiment, you’re such a –_

But Howard’s thoughts were cut off.

Cut off by a set of soft lips suddenly pressed against his.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I swear I will update this soon, I am writing as fast as I can!


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Howard does the responsible thing.

“You... you kissed me.”

“I did, yeah.”

“You actually kissed me...”

“I know, I was there.”

“...why?”

Vince grinned, a delicate blush creeping across his tear and mascara streaked face. Howard’s lips were still tingling.

“Because that was the nicest thing you’ve ever said to me,” Vince whispered. “It’s probably the nicest thing _anyone’s_ ever said to me.”

Howard couldn’t think of a single thing to say, other than “Oh.”

“Did you... did you mean it?” Vince asked nervously.

“Yes, yes, of course,” Howard said, perhaps a little too quickly. “Of course I meant what I said. Why wouldn’t I?”

Vince shrugged, ducking his head as he played with his hair. “I dunno. It’s just... all the stuff with Aldous, y’know? He said loads of really lovely things to me all the time, but now I know he didn't mean any of it, did he? He was just trying to butter me up and make me like him more and all that. So I just thought... maybe...”

He trailed off, looking away with an even deeper blush. Howard couldn’t believe what was happening. Not just the kiss, although the fact that that had actually happened – _it had actually happened, Vince had kissed him, in real life_ – was still blowing his mind, but the way the Vince was acting. He was so unsure of himself, his usual confidence had been knocked so much that he couldn’t even believe the nice things that Howard, of all people, had said to him. And it was all because of _Aldous bloody Snow._ That man deserved so much more than just a punch in the face.

“I meant every single word, Vince,” he said earnestly. “I promise you, I meant it. I wouldn’t ever lie to you about something like that. I’d never treat you the way that he did.”

Vince smiled, taking Howard’s hand in his. “I know. I think I’ve kinda always known. You really care about me, don’t you?”

“Of course I do, little man. I...” Howard stopped himself. But he had to say it, he just had to. For God’s sake, Vince had kissed him! If ever there was a perfect time to say it, it was now. _Be brave, Moon, you’re a Man of Action..._ “I love you.”

Vince’s eyes widened. “Like... like as just a friend though, yeah?”

Howard shook his head slowly. Vince gasped, and looked as if he was struggling to think of anything to say. After a moment of silence, where they just stared at each other, Vince finally leaned in and kissed Howard again.

The Swoop and Flutter had turned into an all-out hurricane. At first Howard just sat there like a statue, much like the last kiss. But eventually he rested his hands on Vince’s waist, kissing him back with as much skill as he could muster. Vince sighed against him, wrapping his arms around Howard’s neck and pulling him close. Howard felt as if he was melting, like there was nothing else in the whole world but Vince. Vince’s soft lips and warm little body and fingers running though his fine brown curls were _everything_ , nothing else existed, nothing else mattered, nothing but Vince, Vince, _Vince_...

But just as the kiss was beginning to deepen and he felt Vince’s tongue lick his bottom lip, a very annoying voice suddenly popped into Howard’s head. _You shouldn’t be doing this. Yes, it feels incredible to finally be kissing Vince, better than anything you ever imagined, and you’ve imagined this a hell of a lot. But this is all wrong. He just got dumped. Vince had never been dumped by anyone before, and now he’s been dumped by a rock star of all people. Someone he admired, someone he thought he was completely in love with. He was crying his eyes out before you got home, and when was the last time you saw Vince crying about anything? He’s in a bad place right now. He’s sad and lonely and heartbroken. And you, Howard Moon, are taking advantage of him._

“Wait, Vince... I can’t do this.”

Vince pulled away, and Howard hated himself for making him look so hurt.

“You only just broke up with Aldous,” Howard continued, stroking Vince’s cheek. “You’re really upset and... Vince, I’ve wanted this for such a long time, you’ve no idea. But not like this. I don’t want to take advantage of you when you’re this vulnerable.”

“But you’re not taking advantage of me!” Vince insisted. “Yeah, I’m sad because of Aldous and that, but that’s not why I’m kissing you. I really want this, I really want _you_. Please, Howard...”

“Vince, I...” Howard’s chest ached as he saw the tears swimming in Vince’s eyes. “I love you. I always have, and that’s why I can’t do this. Not now, not yet. You’re in such a bad place right now, little man. I’d never forgive myself if I took advantage of your heartbreak. I think you need a bit of time to get over what’s happened to you, to get back to being yourself again. I just want you to be happy.”

Vince looked sad, so sad it made Howard want to cry. But he nodded all the same.

“Yeah, you’re probably right,” he said quietly, rubbing his eyes with the back of his hand. “I should... we shouldn’t... I’m not really thinking clearly, am I? My head’s in a right mess. I just... I wanted to feel _wanted_ , y’know? But you really love me, like you’re properly in love with me. You deserve so much more than just being my rebound guy, I shouldn’t be using you to get over Aldous. I’m so sorry, Howard. I’m being ridiculous. Just... just forget it, yeah?”

“Of course,” Howard said slowly. “You sort yourself out, little man. Consider it forgotten.”

But Howard didn’t forget. He wouldn’t have been able to forget about it even if he’s life depended on it. For days afterward Vince hardly left his bedroom, not even to come and work at the shop. He barely ate except when Howard made him, and he didn’t even seem to have the strength to straighten his hair. He had thrown out all his Infant Sorrow CDs, torn up all the paparazzi photos of him and Aldous that he’d clipped out of magazines, and spent most of the time curled up in bed listening to sad music on full blast to drown out the sound of his own sobbing.

Howard sat up in bed, flicking through a copy of The Global Explorer but not actually reading it. Instead he was staring into space, thinking about the past few dreadful days. It was like a black cloud had descended over the entire flat. Howard had hated it when Vince wasn’t in the flat at all, but this was so much worse. Naboo and Bollo were still gone, and without Vince’s usual sunshine their home felt cold and somehow even emptier than when Howard had been alone. He had wanted Vince back, but not like this. He actually missed how things had been before, when Vince was still with Aldous, skipping into the shop every few days with a grin on his face and a spring in his step and a new story to tell. Even that was preferable to this, to Vince shutting himself away and crying all the time. Howard just wanted Vince to be happy again, even if it wasn’t with him.

_Tap tap tap_

Howard was startled out of his thoughts by that familiar sound, not least of all because it wasn’t coming from the other side of the wall, but from his bedroom door.

“Erm, come in.”

Vince slipped into the room, closing the door quietly behind him. In the light of the bedside lamp, he looked paler and thinner than usual, his big blue eyes slightly bloodshot and his hair sticking up in all directions. He was wearing a tatty pair of pyjama bottoms covered in stars, and he was nervously playing with the loose thread from the old David Bowie t-shirt that looked a bit too big on him now.

“Can I maybe... sleep in here tonight?” he asked quietly. “We don’t have to do anything else, only sleeping. It’s just... I don’t wanna be alone. It’s giving me bad dreams.”

Howard put his magazine on the bedside table and shuffled over on his single bed, patting the space beside him. “No problem, little man.”

Vince seemed to relax a bit, letting out a small sigh of relief as he crawled under Howard’s beige duvet. Howard turned off the lamp and settled down in bed, his arms instinctively wrapping around Vince’s small frame as Vince curled up against him, arms tight around Howard’s middle and face nuzzled into the crook of his neck.

This felt so _right_. It was the sort of tender closeness that Howard had always wanted, but had always been too afraid to ask for. But it came so easily to them, like second nature, like they had been holding each other this way all their lives instead of this being the very first time. Howard petted Vince’s hair, smiling as he felt Vince sigh against him.

“Howard?” Vince whispered.

“Yeah, Vince?”

“D’you still love me?”

Howard pressed a kiss to Vince’s forehead. “I don’t think I’m ever gonna stop, little man.”

“Good, because... I think I love you too.”

Howard’s hand stilled in Vince’s hair, holding his breath as Vince continued to speak softly.

“Not like how I loved Aldous though. I think with him it was just the _idea_ of him that I loved, y’know? He was the famous rock star Aldous Snow, and I loved how he treated me and how I felt when I was with him. But I’ve been thinking about it, and I think what I loved was dead shallow and that. I didn't really love him, not really. I didn’t even know him, not the real him, and he didn’t really know me. He just fancied me and liked showing me off and stuff, and I liked all the attention I got when I was with him and being able to say that I was _the_ Aldous Snow’s actual boyfriend. But it’s not like that with you, is it? I realised when he was being horrible about you all them times that I really, really care about you. You’ve always been there for me, we’ve always looked out for each other all these years, and I’m happiest when we’re together. I was dead lonely when I away from you, even though I was with him, and now I finally understand why. I wish it didn't have to take all of this shit for me to realise how I feel about you, and I was kinda nervous to tell you because I thought maybe that you’d think I was only saying it because you’d said it first and you wouldn’t take me seriously. But I’m being properly serious, Howard. I love you.”

Howard let out the breath he was holding, giving Vince a bit of a squeeze as he swallowed around the lump in his throat. Vince loved him. Vince actually loved him, and he couldn’t remember the last time he had ever felt so happy, so completely and utterly overjoyed. He felt like laughing and crying and possibly bursting into song, but instead he did the only thing that made sense at that moment.

He gently lifted Vince’s face towards his own, a thumb stroking his pale cheek, and kissed him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I think there's only going to be one chapter after this. I'm not sure. To be honest, I'll probably be the last to know how this fic is going to end. But in the next chapter there will finally be smut. I promise.


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Finally things go right.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I said there would eventually be smut in this, and I came through.

The Swoop and Flutter felt more like some kind of internal explosion. This kiss felt even more amazing than the last, and when Vince moaned against him it only urged Howard on. When Vince licked his bottom lip, Howard gladly let him in, imitating his movements until their tongues caressed and their kissed deepened. This was further than Howard had ever gone with anyone, and it felt even better than he could have imagined, even better than the countless dreams he’d had about this.

There was a part of him – the most pessimistic part – that was still a little bit convinced that Vince didn't really love him back, that Vince was just looking for some physical comfort to take his mind off of Aldous, and tomorrow he would be back to his usual cheerful self and go out to find himself someone new, someone better looking and better suited and just... _better_. But when Vince climbed on top of him, straddling his lap and nibbling his bottom lip, Howard stopped thinking such miserable thoughts. He stopped thinking entirely.

“I really do love you,” Vince whispered against Howard’s lips, as if reading his mind. “You believe me, right?”

Howard held Vince closer, his arms wrapping around the smaller man’s slim waist. “I do, little man. I love you too. I love you so, so much.”

They kissed slowly, deep and sensual, Vince grinding down onto Howard’s lap as they quietly moaned against each other. Howard felt so aroused, so hot that he could barely breathe, but he didn’t want to stop kissing Vince. He couldn’t get close enough. He couldn’t kiss Vince _deep_ enough. He could feel Vince’s hardness rubbing against his own, but rather than scaring him it just spurred him on, making him ache with the need for more, more, _more._ Holding Vince tightly, Howard turned them both so that Vince was sprawled out underneath him. Vince gasped, giggling quietly as Howard kissed down his neck, kneeling comfortably between his legs.

“We should’ve been doing this ages ago,” Vince whispered, running his fingers through Howard’s hair. “You’re well good at this.”

Howard scoffed against Vince’s neck. “You don’t have to sound quite so surprised.”

Vince laughed out loud at that, and it was so wonderful to hear Vince laughing again – he hadn’t truly realised just how much he had missed that sound. Howard was glad that Vince was a lot more experienced in this sort of thing, and a lot more forthcoming with what he wanted, because Howard really didn't have a clue where to start. He wanted _everything_ , to touch and kiss every single inch of Vince’s skin, to make Vince laugh again, and moan, and cry out his name in pleasure. He was so overwhelmed, but such a complete novice, that now that he had Vince in his bed like he’d always wanted Howard had no idea what to do.

But Vince seemed to sense his hesitation, and guided Howard’s hand down to the prominent bulge at the front of his star-covered pyjama bottoms. Howard cupped and squeezed through the fabric, and encouraged by the delicious little moans and sighs Vince let out, he plunged his hand under the waistband to touch bare flesh. Vince’s cock felt hot and heavy in his hand, slightly longer and slimmer than Howard’s own length, drops of pre-come already oozing from the tip. Howard circled his thumb around the crown, collecting the wetness before stroking steadily, and buried his face in the crook of Vince’s neck to muffle of own desperate groan as Vince whispered his name and thrust up into his hand.

Vince wriggled under Howard, pushing his pyjama bottoms down a bit to release his cock and Howard’s hand, before his own hand reached for Howard’s erection. He pushed down Howard’s pyjamas, squeezing his arse before wrapping his hand around Howard’s cock and stroking at a much faster pace. Howard let out a growl, kissing Vince fiercely as he tried his absolute best not to just come immediately. He had never been touched by anybody other than himself before, and it felt _incredible_. Vince’s hand was smaller and smoother than his own, his shorter fingers just about wrapping around his girth, and his touch was gentle but so... _needy_. It was like Vince knew exactly how Howard liked to be touched without even having to ask, and going by Vince’s moans and gasps and frantic squirming Howard knew what he liked too.

“Oh _fuck_ , Howard,” Vince panted, throwing his head back against the pillow. “You’re hands are fucking magic... and your cock... ohh God, Howard, your cock is so fucking _thick_... I can’t wait for you to fuck me... I can’t wait for you to fill me up with this big, fat cock and shag me into the fucking mattress...”

“ _Jesus_ ,” Howard groaned, thrusting into Vince’s fist. “I’m not gonna last if you keep talking like that, love.”

Vince chuckled, nibbling on Howard’s earlobe and pumping his cock even faster. “That’s the idea, big man.”

Suddenly Howard was coming, his orgasm taking him by surprise. He cried out as he erupted all over Vince’s hand, his whole body shuddering as Vince came apart underneath him just seconds later, coating Howard’s fingers with his release. They shared one last messy kiss, before Howard rolled off of Vince and collapsed on the bed, both of them trying to catch their breath.

“Wow...” Vince sighed. “Did I just... take your virginity?”

Howard tucked himself back in his pyjamas, feeling sticky and exhilarated. “A bit, yeah.”

Vince pulled his own bottoms back up and curled up against Howard’s side, yawning as he cuddled up close. “Only a bit?”

“Yeah, well... we didn’t... I mean, it was only...”

“Only a handjob?”

Howard was glad the semi-darkness hid how much he blushed at that. “Yeah.”

“Fair enough,” said Vince, stifling another yawn behind his hand. “Bloody brilliant handjob though, yeah?”

“Absolutely.”

“I can take the rest of your virginity in the morning, if you like. Once we’ve had a little sleepy.”

Howard smiled, wrapping his arms around Vince as drowsiness began to sink in. “Good plan, love.”

They fell asleep in each other’s arms, and the next morning Vince lived up to his promise. Howard was woken from his peaceful, dreamless sleep by Vince’s mouth on his cock, licking and sucking until he was seeing stars, and Howard returned the favour afterwards, kissing and tasting as much of Vince’s skin as he could reach.

Howard didn't think either of them would have the stamina for it after all of that, but after only a quick rest and some passionate kisses he was between Vince’s legs once more, pushing his lubed up cock into Vince’s slick and ready hole. Okay, so it was hard and fast and more than a little bit on the feral side, the bed springs creaking and the headboard scuffing the wallpaper and Vince crying out the filthiest things, but they were still very much _making love_. There was so much meaning behind every touch and thrust and desperate moan, not just mindless shagging but the fevered and enthusiastic coupling of two people who loved each other to the moon and back.

Howard said as much, in between his grunts and groans, growling out the endearments he had been dying to say out loud for years, as Vince clawed at his back and writhed underneath him.

“Vince... ohh, _Vince_... I love you so much... I love you more than anything... you’re so beautiful, Vince... so perfect... and you feel so good... I’m all yours, Vince... all yours, _always_...”

Once they had come down from their orgasms and were completely spent, Howard and Vince lay wrapped in each other’s arms in Howard’s bed, naked under the duvet and too reluctant to leave the warmth of each other’s embrace to take a much needed shower and have some breakfast. Eating and bathing could wait – this closeness was much more important.

“Howard?”

“Yeah, Vince?”

“Are we boyfriends now, d’you think?”

“I should certainly hope so.”

“Are you still in love with me?”

“I promise I always will be, little man.”

“Good. Looks like Aldous Snow was actually good for something then.”

“What?”

“If it weren’t for him, I wouldn’t have realised just how much I love you. I should thank him, really. Although if I do ever see him again, I’ll probably just end up twatting him.”

“Not if I punch him first.”

They both laughed, holding each other closer. Howard felt like a weight had been lifted from him that he hadn’t even realised he’d been carrying. He kissed Vince’s lips, running his fingers through the soft, black hair that he had always longed to touch, and Vince’s warmth and sunshine radiated through him.

_So this is what being genuinely happy feels like... I could get used to this._


	7. Epilogue

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Six months later, and Aldous Snow thinks about what he's done.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I felt like this was necessary because I do actually love Aldous Snow, but I've made him into a right twat in this fic. So I needed to give him a chance to redeem himself a tiny little bit. 
> 
> I can't believe I actually managed to finish a multi-chapter fic. Go me.

Six months later, and Aldous Snow was living in New York. He had worked things out – for what felt like the hundredth time – with Jackie Q, the woman he loved and loathed more than anyone else on the planet, and had been spending as much time with his beautiful son, Naples, as physically possible. The little twit never failed to raise his spirits. Aldous was working out, doing yoga and meditating every day, the promise of an eighth year of sobriety keeping him going, and his latest album had just gone into post-production – he was positive that ‘African Child’ would change the world for the better, it was easily up there with the greatest albums of all time. Aldous felt happy and content in himself, but something was still niggling at him like a loose tooth.

The New York City apartment was large, spacious and beautifully decorated, but being by himself in the cavernous rooms made Aldous feel horribly lonely. Naples was sleeping over at a friend’s house, and Jackie had stormed out hours ago after yet another ridiculous argument about how the clean and sober life was beginning to bore her senseless. He didn't understand how she could think being happy and healthy was boring... although in the mood he was in right now he wouldn’t have minded a cheeky drink or maybe a line or two, just to take his mind off things.

Aldous lounged on his bed, scrolling aimlessly through the videos saved on his laptop, when he came across one that made his heart skip a beat. He thought he’d deleted this ages ago, but apparently not. He knew it wouldn’t do anything to improve his mood, but he pressed play anyway.

_“Aldous, why are you filming us?”_

_“I’m only tryna document your splendour, darlin’.”_

_“You know I ain’t making a sex tape with you, yeah? Having our picture in the papers is one thing, but I want my claim to fame to be a bit classier than that.”_

_“Stop your worryin’, Vince. This video’s just for me and you, so you can see how beautiful you are. C’mere and give us a kiss.”_

Aldous smiled as he watched himself being sweetly kissed by Vince Noir, his chest aching at the memories. He would never forget the day he had first met Vince, that gorgeous little Camden dolly-bird who caught his eye in Topshop while he was living in London months before. He had only just started being a bit more open about his bisexuality, and encouraged by the fact that the media hadn’t given him nearly as much grief about it as he expected, Aldous had leapt on the chance to get into the skin-tight jeans of the sexy Sorrow Sucker. Vince had blushed and stuttered adorably when Aldous had asked him out, staring up at him like he was some kind of God. It was the sort of attention that Aldous was used to, but he loved it even more when it came from Vince.

_“Vince, you’re so beautiful_... _how are you so beautiful?”_

_“Guess I’m just lucky.”_

_“I’m the lucky one, darlin’.”_

_“Stop it, you, you’re making me blush! I don’t wanna look like a beetroot on camera!”_

Aldous had missed the sound of Vince’s laughter, although it wasn’t quite as good in the video as it was in real life. Vince was a real sunshiny optimist, so happy about everything without even having to try. Aldous only really knew how to be happy when he was _trying_ , but it hadn’t been like that with Vince. Being with Vince in those first few weeks was like being in paradise, like bedding an actual angel from heaven. There wasn’t a drug in the world that made him feel as blissful and carefree as being with Vince did.

He hadn’t even been that happy in the early days of his relationship with Jackie, and she was the mother of his child, for goodness sake. Vince was only meant to be a bit of fun, one of his silly little flings while in London, just another pretty groupie hanging off his arm for the gossip columns to conspire about. Vince wasn’t supposed to be important. Vince was never supposed to be his actual boyfriend.

_“You’re the only one for me, darlin’... you’re so gorgeous.”_

_“Aldous...”_

_“I love the way you say my name, sweetheart.”_

_“What else do you love about me?”_

_“Oh God, just... everything. Absolutely everything, Vince. You’re perfect.”_

“Fucking hell,” Aldous whispered to himself. “You silly bastard.”

He watched himself kiss Vince in the video, kiss his lips and his jaw and his neck, while Vince giggled and smiled bashfully at the camera. God, he wanted a drink. He wanted to see Vince again, even if it was just once, even if it was just for a minute. He just wanted to hear Vince’s voice.

Before he knew it, Aldous had paused the video and was searching the contacts on his phone for Vince’s number. He should have deleted the number after their break up... he should have done a lot of things. He was so surprised when the call was actually answered that he didn't even say anything.

“Hello? Hello...? Who is this? I know someone’s there, I can hear you breathing!”

Aldous had to clear his throat before he could trust his voice to come out sounding normal. “Alright, Vince.”

“Aldous...” Vince voice was just a whisper, somewhere between shock and outrage. “What – why are you calling me?”

“I just wanted to talk to you. I’ve been thinking about you a lot lately, darlin’.”

“Don’t call me that. I ain’t your _darlin’_ anymore.”

Aldous decided to ignore the bitterness in Vince’s voice, although the ache in his chest felt even worse. “What are you doing right now?”

Vince sighed in obvious annoyance. “I’m working in the shop, not that it’s any of your business. Lucky for you Howard’s gone off to do the stock taking, or I would’ve hung up by now.”

“Why would _Howard_ care if you were talking to me?” Aldous scoffed, suddenly remembering Vince’s improbable best friend, that moustachioed twit in all the corduroy – what a fucking loser. “You ain’t a couple, you said so yourself.”

There was a pause, before Vince said “We _are_ a couple now, actually.”

Aldous felt his inside twisting painfully. “Oh...”

“I doubt you’re surprised,” said Vince, sounding irritated. “I know that’s what you assumed all along. I should be thanking you, really. If it weren’t for you fucking me over like you did, me and Howard never would’ve got together. He was there to pick up the pieces after everything you did to me, Aldous. He loves me, _really_ loves me, not like I thought you did.”

“And what makes you think I didn't love you?” Aldous blurted out before he could stop himself.

Vince laughed, but it wasn’t the kind of laughter that Aldous hadn’t wanted to hear. It was cold and humourless and sounded all wrong.

“You didn't fucking love me, Aldous,” Vince said, clearly trying not to shout down the phone. “You cheated on me. You _lied_ and you _cheated_ , and you expected me to be alright with it. You expected me to be cheating right back because you’re so screwed up, and you assume that everyone else is just as screwed up as you. Me and Howard have been a proper couple now for six months, and I know you don’t think that monogamy is a real thing but I don’t plan on being with anyone other than him. I love him. And it’s real, _grown up_ love, something that you wouldn’t know anything about.”

Aldous swallowed around the lump in his throat. “We had fun together though, didn't we?”

Vince sighed again, sounding exhausted. “At first, yeah. It was brilliant at first. We were happy. But then you had to go a spoil it, didn't you?”

He knew Vince was right. Of course Vince was right. Aldous always ended up spoiling things and hurting the ones he loved, that was just his way. There had always been some malevolent force inside him, some traitorous little sprite that would notice he was happy and wouldn’t allow it to continue, blowing him off course and back down the path of self-destruction.

“It probably won’t mean much now, Vince,” Aldous said. “But... I’m sorry. I’m sorry for hurting you, sorry for... everything.”

“Apology accepted,” said Vince resentfully. “But I don’t forgive you, Aldous. You’re the only person that’s ever cheated on me, so don’t expect forgiveness any time soon.”

“Understood,” Aldous said sadly. “I miss you though. I really wanna see you again, darlin’.”

“I told you not to call me that.”

“Right, yeah...”

“And please don’t come and see me. I really don’t fancy having to punch you again, my knuckles were all swollen for about a week after. Also Howard would definitely kick your head in.”

“Alright, alright.”

“Promise me, Aldous,” Vince insisted. “Promise you won’t try and see me again, I couldn’t bear it.”

Aldous sighed, his chest aching worse than ever. “Okay, Vince. I promise.”

“Good. I’m hanging up now, because talking to you’s making me wanna cry, and I’m wearing a lot of eyeliner today that I don’t wanna waste on you. Goodbye, Aldous.”

“Goodbye, Vince.”

The phone cut off and Aldous threw it on the bed, frowning at the opposite wall. He hated how he was feeling, it was like a terrible cocktail of guilt and longing and a hurt that he wished he could numb. He pressed play on the video again, watching with a painful lump in his throat as the other him – _that fucking idiot, that selfish fucking wanker who didn't deserve a little ray of sunshine like Vince Noir –_ began to softly sing as he gazed into Vince’s eyes. 

_“...inside of you all the stars unfurl, I’ve crossed me heart and I’ve crossed the world, and I need you here and I need to be inside of you...”_

God, he needed a drink.


End file.
